Skip to main content

Jackpot, Girls, Big Boner and Family - Happy Thanksgiving!


What I'm thankful for today, mostly is that I found out that my Email just won me £12,733,500 in the Euro Million Lottery! I'd share my lucky numbers, but that should probably best be kept private.

Anyway, all I have to do now to claim my fortune is contact Sir Willie Banks with a list of some personal information to verify my identity, that's understandable. I am so very thrilled and thankful that things are finally looking not just up, but way way up there, for me!

But that's not all. Also, today, I learned that there are six (count 'em, six) girl hotties right here in Kansas City wanting to hook up with me! I am so in demand, I might consider just taking them all up on having a chance at the Dougmeister and let them catfight it out.

I was also fortuitously pointed today where I can get the cheapest ever Viagra and Cialis which might come in handy with so much pending action. My friend Al Chandler directed me to that one, also with pointers on how to get a bigger boner. Okay, he may sound a bit uncouth, but certainly just offering up helpful hints which might come in handy with me satisfying all of my ladies. So cool.

I don't really remember where from I know Al, but obviously a good guy passing along such practical info and advice, very considerate dude. I also will confess to not recalling sending that email with my lucky numbers to Sir Willie Banks, either, but then again I tend to be forgetful considering the brain cell carnage in my head. Damned hooch. Still, I appreciate the good news all around.

Happy Thanksgiving to me indeed! I suppose I'm most thankful, though, for the invitation and opportunity to spend this Thanksgiving with my daughter alongside her mother my ex-wife, and her step-dad who actually was the one to put forth the invitation in the first place.

Amazing surprise that was, but an outstanding day together we had, alongside with my daughter's phenomenal brother, her awesome boyfriend and some church friends of the family there. The trigger-happy gun lady was fun. Okay, we were playing the Wii ... but she did seem to enjoy the target practice methinks a wii bit too much.

So above all, I'm glad I opted to not spend this Turkey Day alone like I usually do and had intended after all. It was wonderful, actually, the chance to share this afternoon and fellowship with the entire family.

The whole bunch of us, ex-this and step-that and half-the other ... screw all that. Didn't matter, it really was just all in the family, and for that I'm thankful. Annie Oakley and her family in the mix, too, certainly upped the entertainment factor for the day.

Couldn't be any more grateful for the invitation, and the dinner too was excellent. Just ask my dog Roy. The leftover plate I brought home anticipating for tomorrow? He's smart enough to know not to so much as sniff at such when I'm home. He's also smart enough to know that if I'm gone, the consequences might just be worth it.

I'm stupid enough to have left it on the kitchen counter to go buy a pack of smokes, so who can blame him? At least I've still got pie.

Hope everyone else had a happy Thanksgiving today as well. And don't think I will ever forget about all you little people once I wrap up pocketing my riches, although I might be kind of busy pleasing my newfound harem with my big perpetual boner. But I certainly will still be around because I am truly thankful for all of you readers, too.

Comments

  1. Hilarious post! Glad your Thanksgiving was a good one, Doug.

    ReplyDelete
  2. someone fooled a nigera scammer into copy a whole Harry Potter book. The link to the email exchange is below.

    http://www.419eater.com/html/joyce_ozioma.htm

    ReplyDelete
  3. Glad you went! Brave man methinks. I too was blessed with Viagra coupons...but alas, no hotties. With my luck Bob Dole will show UP. HOWEVER!! I won an Irish Sweepstake of 10 million dollars!! I quickly went to Amazon.com and put $10,000 on my VISA (the millions will arrive soon) and bought a TIVO (back) a large screen TV (6 actually) and a shot gun (I must guard my $$). Then books books books!!!!!!!! Woo Hoo We must do lunch sometime.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks Doug, and yes it was really a fantastic day!!

    Fan, that was funnier than fuck.

    Diane, we so lucky, eh??? You with the Irish and me the with the Euro folks! Let's indeed do lunch, have your people call my people.

    ReplyDelete
  5. D-Ro,

    ROTFLMAO!! This post was too funny. My dear old Mom is just learning her way around the computer and got her first porno pic in the e-mail. She called me and asked how to get rid of it...LOL! She just said the pic was of a nude man. She said she tried to close it and more pics popped up.

    I'm so happy you decided to go to the Thanksgiving dinner. Sounds as if you all had a good time. Sounds like Roy was thankful too. Oh yeah and we are thankful for you too. I thank you for this post it really made me LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Rain - Tell Mom to just forward that pic on to me, I'll take care of it. :-) Thanks, too, for reading about my lucky day!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Georgia outlaws microchip implants: "Just imagine having a beeper in your rectum and your beeper numbers displayed on billboards throughout the city."

Well, that bill passed, the one from Georgia "so as to prohibit requiring a person to be implanted with a microchip," Senate Bill 235 . At least it made its way through the House Judiciary Committee, anyway, next stop the House Rules Committee that decides whether it moves on to the full House vote and (fingers crossed) final passage. I'd think it probably should, taking into account the compelling testimony brought up at this last hearing, from some fat lady about why non-consensual chipping should be made against the law. There she described in detail her own personal experience, with being implanted against her druthers: "I'm also one of the people in Georgia who has a microchip," she began. ("Also one?" There's more of them there?) She went on about the specific disadvantages, how it violates one's "right to work without being tortured by co-workers who are activating these microchips by using their cell phones and other electro

I Think

I think I'm bored blogging. I think I'm done with it. I think what's the point? I think you should check out my blogroll instead. I think they say stuff better anyway.

Hung on the Cross

So what, I'm not very mature for my age. I don't care, I'm easily amused because of it, and I enjoy being amused. Like this picture of a crucifix which was hoisted a couple of months ago above the main altar at the St. Charles Borromeo Catholic church in Oklahoma: I can come up with lots of hilariously inappropriate captions here, some that even I am embarrassed to admit thinking up, despite my unabashed crudity. I would share but probably everyone else is too sophisticated to see the humor. Plus, I really don't want to go to Hell. I'm guessing that there are an awful lot of Okie parishioners down there at the church where this is hung for real, who I reckon wouldn't appreciate my sense of humor about it, either. They are, in general, hugely offended by it instead, because they see nothing funny whatsoever about displaying Jesus' ginormous penis in church, not in the least bit! Seems as though this has caused quite a "deep divide" among members o