What I'm thankful for today, mostly is that I found out that my Email just won me £12,733,500 in the Euro Million Lottery! I'd share my lucky numbers, but that should probably best be kept private.
Anyway, all I have to do now to claim my fortune is contact Sir Willie Banks with a list of some personal information to verify my identity, that's understandable. I am so very thrilled and thankful that things are finally looking not just up, but way way up there, for me!
But that's not all. Also, today, I learned that there are six (count 'em, six) girl hotties right here in Kansas City wanting to hook up with me! I am so in demand, I might consider just taking them all up on having a chance at the Dougmeister and let them catfight it out.
I was also fortuitously pointed today where I can get the cheapest ever Viagra and Cialis which might come in handy with so much pending action. My friend Al Chandler directed me to that one, also with pointers on how to get a bigger boner. Okay, he may sound a bit uncouth, but certainly just offering up helpful hints which might come in handy with me satisfying all of my ladies. So cool.
I don't really remember where from I know Al, but obviously a good guy passing along such practical info and advice, very considerate dude. I also will confess to not recalling sending that email with my lucky numbers to Sir Willie Banks, either, but then again I tend to be forgetful considering the brain cell carnage in my head. Damned hooch. Still, I appreciate the good news all around.
Happy Thanksgiving to me indeed! I suppose I'm most thankful, though, for the invitation and opportunity to spend this Thanksgiving with my daughter alongside her mother my ex-wife, and her step-dad who actually was the one to put forth the invitation in the first place.
Amazing surprise that was, but an outstanding day together we had, alongside with my daughter's phenomenal brother, her awesome boyfriend and some church friends of the family there. The trigger-happy gun lady was fun. Okay, we were playing the Wii ... but she did seem to enjoy the target practice methinks a wii bit too much.
So above all, I'm glad I opted to not spend this Turkey Day alone like I usually do and had intended after all. It was wonderful, actually, the chance to share this afternoon and fellowship with the entire family.
The whole bunch of us, ex-this and step-that and half-the other ... screw all that. Didn't matter, it really was just all in the family, and for that I'm thankful. Annie Oakley and her family in the mix, too, certainly upped the entertainment factor for the day.
Couldn't be any more grateful for the invitation, and the dinner too was excellent. Just ask my dog Roy. The leftover plate I brought home anticipating for tomorrow? He's smart enough to know not to so much as sniff at such when I'm home. He's also smart enough to know that if I'm gone, the consequences might just be worth it.
I'm stupid enough to have left it on the kitchen counter to go buy a pack of smokes, so who can blame him? At least I've still got pie.
Hope everyone else had a happy Thanksgiving today as well. And don't think I will ever forget about all you little people once I wrap up pocketing my riches, although I might be kind of busy pleasing my newfound harem with my big perpetual boner. But I certainly will still be around because I am truly thankful for all of you readers, too.
Hilarious post! Glad your Thanksgiving was a good one, Doug.
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Glad you went! Brave man methinks. I too was blessed with Viagra coupons...but alas, no hotties. With my luck Bob Dole will show UP. HOWEVER!! I won an Irish Sweepstake of 10 million dollars!! I quickly went to Amazon.com and put $10,000 on my VISA (the millions will arrive soon) and bought a TIVO (back) a large screen TV (6 actually) and a shot gun (I must guard my $$). Then books books books!!!!!!!! Woo Hoo We must do lunch sometime.
ReplyDeleteThanks Doug, and yes it was really a fantastic day!!
ReplyDeleteFan, that was funnier than fuck.
Diane, we so lucky, eh??? You with the Irish and me the with the Euro folks! Let's indeed do lunch, have your people call my people.
D-Ro,
ReplyDeleteROTFLMAO!! This post was too funny. My dear old Mom is just learning her way around the computer and got her first porno pic in the e-mail. She called me and asked how to get rid of it...LOL! She just said the pic was of a nude man. She said she tried to close it and more pics popped up.
I'm so happy you decided to go to the Thanksgiving dinner. Sounds as if you all had a good time. Sounds like Roy was thankful too. Oh yeah and we are thankful for you too. I thank you for this post it really made me LOL!
Rain - Tell Mom to just forward that pic on to me, I'll take care of it. :-) Thanks, too, for reading about my lucky day!
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