Birthday Surprises

My life is an embarrassment right now, has been for the past couple of years. Downward spiral. Ups and downs always of course, that's simply life, but never spiraled so low ever! So, yeah, particularly at my age and from where I am right now turning the page over to a new year basically just sucked for me. Even though I knew it to be only another next day, it kind of was biting the big one.

I just keep it inside mostly, mainly because I've lost virtually all of those who used to be amongst my throng of friends for some reason or another, so there's actually no one to whine to anyway.

Either because I came out gay years ago and then was duly shunned by more lifelong friends than I'd ever have imagined, or because I once being the bestest of friends when I had tons of money to blow and always the one buying up the rounds at the bar or paying for everyone's dinner, when the Bank of Doug dried up I quickly found out the fair weather parasites. My social circle has pretty much now been decimated.

When things turn rightside up again and word gets out, I'm sure people will be back in touch to catch up on things. It will have been so long, after all. I will gladly tell them all to go fuck themselves. Hey, so I am admittedly somewhat bitter, give me a break.

Okay, back to my birthday, I expected nothing yesterday. Not that I enjoy the birthdays anymore, particularly at my age, and I usually don't wish for any sort of acknowledgement. People know that. But late last night I did sign online to catch up on stuff and my inbox made my day. Kind of a happy birthday after all.

First, as much as I dislike it being pointed out, I did receive several emails wishing me a happy bday from some of the fellow bloggers whom I read and others that I know from elsewhere on the Internets. Surprisingly those did made me feel good.

Probably just because these folks took the time to say hey, without my having ever once bought any one of them an expensive dinner nor ponied up for a night out of binge drinking on my tab. And too that I think I've been pretty much blatantly up front about my dancing in the sheets with other boys, which no one seems to really mind about that either.

From the Great Minds Think Like Me blog, link in the right sidebar, Rainlillie even put together a video just for me with some of my favorite things. Awesome. Mostly that she scored it with a piece from Handel's Water Music which she knows is some of my favorite music of forever.

Then happy wishes from both of my ex-wives, Cris and Cris. Yes, they both share the same name. And neither one with an "h." In fact, unusually, both of their given names and I mean as printed on their birth certificates even, given names are both "Cristie." Not only sans "h" but also neither shortened for any of the multiple complete names often truncated. Nope, both pure Cristies.

Wasn't so surprised to hear from Cris number two, still love her and we still (well, at least now for quite some time anyway) have a great relationship. Me coming out gay and being her husband at the time and stuff, things did go downhill for awhile there. Suprise!

But that is so 20th century now. It still meant a lot, she's a nurse with a full schedule and took the time. We still go out dancing when she's in town, we did love our dancing. Now we both can together openly rate the guys at the bar, that's fun, too.

What was most surprising was hearing from Cris number one, my daughter's mother. Here's why. Yeah, we've gotten along fine over the years of course, we do have a kid together. Okay, the downhill period with us was when I was having that affair with the other Cris but that was even earlier on of course, and so 1980s. Even then, it wasn't that bad. But here's why I was surprised to hear from her.

The message did indeed wind up with a happy birthday wish, but the gist of it really was inviting me to Thanksgiving dinner at their house. At the request of her husband my daughter's step-dad. It was very touching to me. For years I couldn't set foot in their home when picking up my daughter even, because he didn't care for me so much.

Never rude or anything, but just the way it was, kind of a jealousy thing he had. I was surprised even several years ago when my daughter's brother and his friend were allowed to tag along with me and my daughter to Worlds of Fun and in order to accommodate, couldn't fit into my truck, I was given keys to their family car.

He's a great guy, my ex's husband, and she remarried well. I couldn't have asked for a better stepfather for my kid's growing up. But to have him the one to bring up inviting me over for Thanksgiving, that was a shock to the system and actually made me emotional. Cris wouldn't even have considered that.

I'm truly considering going, actually, if I can find transportation. I have other issues with getting around town very far from here without being arrested, but that's not the point.

Otherwise I'll probably just end up sitting home alone eating a 77-cent turkey pot pie to celebrate my favorite holiday of the year. Anyway, the invitation astonished me on so many levels, and I just might try to make up there if I can figure out a way.

So it was a good day birthday after all. Maybe not necessarily happy, but I know that at least some people still know I'm alive and cared enough, despite being now worthless to some others who I can no longer live up to their expectations, providing for their own wants and wishes. Wheat from the chaff, I suppose, and good to know there is still some wheat to be found.