My life is an embarrassment right now, has been for the past couple of years. Downward spiral. Ups and downs always of course, that's simply life, but never spiraled so low ever! So, yeah, particularly at my age and from where I am right now turning the page over to a new year basically just sucked for me. Even though I knew it to be only another next day, it kind of was biting the big one. I just keep it inside mostly, mainly because I've lost virtually all of those who used to be amongst my throng of friends for some reason or another, so there's actually no one to whine to anyway. Either because I came out gay years ago and then was duly shunned by more lifelong friends than I'd ever have imagined, or because I once being the bestest of friends when I had tons of money to blow and always the one buying up the rounds at the bar or paying for everyone's dinner, when the Bank of Doug dried up I quickly found out the fair weather parasites. My social circle has prett...