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Bipolar Me Today, Downer Post

Sorry, just one of those days, you know. Feel free to move along to happier browsing. It is a good song, though, and I know I can't be the only weirdo who sometimes wishes to just rather be dead. No?

"Wish I was too dead to cry, my self-affliction fades. Stones to throw at my creator, masochist to which I cater.

"You don't need to bother, I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther but once I hold on, I won't let go 'til it bleeds.

"Wish I was too dead to care, if indeed I cared at all. Never had a voice to protest, so you fed me shit to digest.

"I wish I had a reason, my flaws are open season. For this I gave up trying, one good turn deserves my dying.

"You don't need to bother, I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther but once I hold on, I won't let go 'til it bleeds.

"Wish I'd died instead of lived, a zombie hides my face. Shell forgotten with its memories, diaries left with cryptic entries.

"You don't need to bother, I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther but once I hold on, I'll never live down my deceit."
Stone Sour - Bother

Comments

  1. and I know I can't be the only weirdo who sometimes wishes to just rather be dead. No?

    No...of course not. Always remember...the things I write about come from a place of knowing...being...not just hoping to help others.

    *cyber hug*

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  2. I'm glad you're very much alive.

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  3. your fellow blogger dittos our daughter. I doubt anybody didn't wish they were dead instead, at least once.

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  4. um, YOUR daughter...I like you, but not THAT much.

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  5. I love this song; I used to listen to it when I was depressed too. This is my favorite line: ""I wish I had a reason, my flaws are open season. For this I gave up trying, one good turn deserves my dying."
    Their second SS album is my favorite though- I love "Through the Glass"(this made me listen to it) and the spoken word song where he intellectually rambles.

    Is your b-day Friday? I'm guessing based on numerology and that I know you're a Scorpio and 10 years older than me. Or it would have been last Wed.? Same numerology. My first guess is that you're a Karmic Number 16/7:

    "With the Karmic Number of a 16/7 you often find a person who has difficulty in relationships. They sometimes feel isolated and alone, which can create confusion in love relationships. Because they are more introspective than the 1, they may be less self-directed in some ways but may be more resentful or detached. Of course when a 16/7 learns how to heal it's beliefs around separation and uses its fine abilities to gain deeper spiritual understanding, the 16/7 energies can be redirected into a balanced state. In this way the person can begin to create relationships where self-love is a supportive trait rather than feeling that they are selfish or being misunderstood."

    My second guess is a 14/5 or a 9.

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  6. his birthday is next tuesday. :)
    and he hates them.

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  7. Okay, I was totally wrong. We all have 5 core numbers, so it still could be one of them-ha. So your life path is a 2.

    The Number 2:
    Then light was shined upon the subject. The vibration of two is the 'light bearer'. It's core intention is balance and PEACEMAKING, creating friendship wherever it goes. It holds such qualities as:
    diplomacy
    mediation
    caution
    kindness
    sensitivity
    cooperation
    emotion
    feeling
    intuition

    It goes with you being a caring and emotional person! And to answer your wondering- I, also, am a weirdo who feels like that/this sometimes. When I do, it's hard to remember what it's like when I don't feel that way. But, then, I eventually get out of it. I hope you do too.

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  8. okay, give me a break. i do go suicidal from time to time. sometimes day to day. i forget blogging isn't like journaling that no one will read until i am actually dead. my apologies. but yeah, it is a great song, and every part of it spot on for me sometimes. that's not so good i guess. no more drama, i'll keep that kind of stuff on paper from now on.

    erika - very close b-day analysis, but "your daughter" (love you, sug) spot on of course, next tuesday and yeah i do hate them. but that's because i'm getting fucking too old still not knowing exactly ... what. anyway, i totally loved that you picked up mostly, like me, on the "I wish I had a reason, my flaws are open season. For this I gave up trying, one good turn deserves my dying" absolutely. Me too. And the life path 2 seems to fit pretty well with me, I appreciate that.

    And back to just the music, yeah, Through Glass a major favorite.

    Diane - Actually I am busted by my daughter, Tuesday it is. And right that I hate my birthdays. Hell, what's the point, another milestone closer to whenever your dying day???? :-) Of course that's because I'm turning 46 next week, it's not like it was when it was 6. or 16. Pretty much everything after 21 when I could go out and get smashed has sucked.

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  9. You better stick around, because we have a future lunch date. Who else is going to school me on Christian rock.

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  10. I don't feel you should apologize. I, for one at least, love when you or anyone reaches out and shares the days of funkification. Like I told you before, if everyone walked around pretending they were "a-ok" 24/7...omg, let's just say scary world..at least for me. Kind of "stepfordish" when I imagine it.

    Not only do you/we let people in to "love" us when we share we are in need of a lil lovin' BUT we also let others who think they are the only ones who secretly want to die now and then, that they are not so "weird." Believe me Douglas...it's a beautiful thing when you/we share our darkest moments.

    Believe it or not? I truly believe one "hidden" purpose of those dark funkified moments, days, weeks, whatever IS to help others through it...either while we are there and sharing or once we have more of a handle on it all.

    Hugsiepoos to you, hoping today is just a bit lighter. :)

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  11. I love this song!
    I love Corey Taylor w Slipknot or Stone Sour. He is amazing!
    Cool blog btw:o)

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  12. Thanks, Mackey, you bitchin' blogger! Yep, pretty much all good the Corey, I always love the Stone Sour stuff without a doubt. Slipknot took awhile in the beginning but now I'm a fan. Still I prefer the Stone Sour, particularly when I have suicidal tendencies. Slipknot material might actually put me over the edge! :-)

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