Happy Birthday?

Today is my kid's birthday, she turns twenty-two. That's very disturbing somehow. I really had no problem with all of the played up birthdays so far, like the thirteenth, the eighteenth, even the twenty-first. Don't know why, but somehow this meaningless one aggravates the crap out of me.

I think maybe it's because she's now entered into that phase of none to look forward to other than those to dread, validating getting older and when one starts knowing their own mortality. Thirty is the next biggie, and then of course from there on out it goes by decade.

Shit, she can't be so old already. Or maybe it's not so much about her as what this bodes for me. Criminy! If she only had not have been born so damn premature as she was I would at least have had another couple of months to maybe adjust to the idea of this. Nah, it would have still caught me off guard whenever, I know.

But still, it doesn't really seem all that long ago visiting her incubator at the NICU on a daily basis, or buying Cabbage Patch doll clothes for her when she could finally be brought home (too big even those were, and rather scratchy too! Certainly not designed for comfort.)

Now she's not only fully all growed up, but it's downhill from here on out. Well, I mean as far as the looking forward to birthdays goes. So yeah, probably not so much about her as about me today really. Maybe mostly just wondering ... if I'm so old already, when or even will I ever grow up myself? I sadly enough don't foresee that happening, at least not any time soon.

Oh well, whatever, Happy Birthday anyway, Sugar Bear! This one's for you, you'll get it although everyone else will probably find it only odd and possibly even a wee bit creepy. Crank it up.

3 Doors Down - Kryptonite