I saw that on a tee shirt and I wanted it. I did find one online and I would buy it, too, if I had not had to blow today a big chunk of what little cash I do have dodging jail for at least another week. Hopefully.
But that's neither here nor there. Parenthetical commentary.
The reason I want the shirt is because I do! Seriously. Not want the shirt, but talk to myself, I mean. Out loud. Yep. And sometimes even in public places. Admittedly quite an embarrassing disorder.
Living alone for many years does strange things to one's psyche, though. I don't even know when it began that thoughts that were once kept in cranial check started leaking out in a verbally incontinent sort of way. To be honest, it is rather disturbing.
Kind of like when you get you get old and pee a little bit when you laugh or sneeze. That's what they said happens on Oprah today.
Fortunately I haven't gotten to that point yet. Sphincters still fully functional, praise the Lord. Fingers and legs crossed here.
But this is worse even, I think. No adult mouth diapers on the market to suck up uncontrollable verbal leakage. So I prattle on untamed occasionally. And did I mention ... sometimes in public?
I think I should probably be on medication. But please don't hate me because I'm crazy. For what it's worth, I usually at least manage to have intelligent conversations with myself. Sure, I may be undeniably insane, but I'm not stupid! Give me a break.
Why this post, who knows? In fact, we'll probably all have a chat later on about the reason why. Meaning me, myself and I, of course.
Guess just curious if others ever catch themselves exhibiting similar behavior. Feel free to lie if need be. I really would hate to discover that I'm some sort of lone freak! That would make it suck even more.
I've confessed too much I know, so shun me if you will. Just like my neighborhood grocery store's patrons seem prone to do. I'm certainly not unaccustomed to being snubbed. But truly ... anyone? Anyone?
But that's neither here nor there. Parenthetical commentary.
The reason I want the shirt is because I do! Seriously. Not want the shirt, but talk to myself, I mean. Out loud. Yep. And sometimes even in public places. Admittedly quite an embarrassing disorder.
Living alone for many years does strange things to one's psyche, though. I don't even know when it began that thoughts that were once kept in cranial check started leaking out in a verbally incontinent sort of way. To be honest, it is rather disturbing.
Kind of like when you get you get old and pee a little bit when you laugh or sneeze. That's what they said happens on Oprah today.
Fortunately I haven't gotten to that point yet. Sphincters still fully functional, praise the Lord. Fingers and legs crossed here.
But this is worse even, I think. No adult mouth diapers on the market to suck up uncontrollable verbal leakage. So I prattle on untamed occasionally. And did I mention ... sometimes in public?
I think I should probably be on medication. But please don't hate me because I'm crazy. For what it's worth, I usually at least manage to have intelligent conversations with myself. Sure, I may be undeniably insane, but I'm not stupid! Give me a break.
Why this post, who knows? In fact, we'll probably all have a chat later on about the reason why. Meaning me, myself and I, of course.
Guess just curious if others ever catch themselves exhibiting similar behavior. Feel free to lie if need be. I really would hate to discover that I'm some sort of lone freak! That would make it suck even more.
I've confessed too much I know, so shun me if you will. Just like my neighborhood grocery store's patrons seem prone to do. I'm certainly not unaccustomed to being snubbed. But truly ... anyone? Anyone?
Doug R,
ReplyDeleteI don't have long detailed conversations with myself, but I have asked myself where did I put something I may have replaced. We all do it.
I don't find you strange at all, just intriguing, interesting, lovable, charming , a good listener , witty,and a good friend...tell me when to stop...LOL!
"I have asked myself where did I put something I may have replaced. We all do it."
ReplyDeleteDarling, this goes way beyond that. :-)
"...tell me when to stop ..."
Why would we do that?? We thank you, in fact, for the kind words! And right back atcha, by the way.
Does this count? Your on the phone, and the person on the other line irritates you but you act polite...until you hang up...they you talk to them not so nicely as if they are still on the line just for release? People do that..."so I've heard..." :)
ReplyDeleteI think I have done it Doug. Not in public, but at home sure. Sometimes, being one who has had panic/anxiety and as you know forgotten to breathe on occasion, I do talk to myself when alone, in an attempt to "come back/stay grounded."
You know, many self help gurus advocate it. Even further than that, they say we should look into the mirror, into our own eyes, smile and say things like, "Hey beautiful. I love you."
I guess you can add..."I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." :)
Lumina gets it kinda. At least enough so to know my affliction is understood! I never talk to myself in the mirror, I ramble about just whatever pops into my head. Stuart, though, is a fine example of the good that can come from the self-talking! He did save his family, after all! :-)
ReplyDeleteDoug - I think living alone for years has affected me too. But I mostly limit my talks to inantimate objects.
ReplyDeleteDoug B - Well, now, you really are just plain crazy then! Thanks for proving there are always others even worse off!
ReplyDeleteJust kidding, of course. In fact, to be honest, conversations with myself could probably also be considered as as talking to an inanimate object, too. Sigh.
DOUG! Hell, I not only talk to myself in public, but I shout out as needed. In grocery lines, at the pharmacy, out my balcony (not unusual that) I talk non stop when waiting for my Dr. too long, hell, I break out in song! I find myself to be a good listener. I enjoy my company. I have grabbed the grocery overhead com line phone and called for a cashier. I break out in scenes from plays and often say the Gettysburg Address.
ReplyDeleteOh my, Diane, at least I know what I have to look forward to if that's the natural progression! I think I might kind of like it really. Maybe I should just learn to embrace my vocalness, fuck 'em. I might need to re-memorize the Gettysburg Address, though. I only remember the first few lines.
ReplyDelete