The other day on Facebook, a friend of mine brought up an interesting issue that I hadn't really considered before. He got a mite peeved in one post, about gay-friendly businesses advertising themselves as such, which, so far as I had always imagined, was a nifty thing to do. I'm pretty sure that I would probably opt for one place over another, online or in real life, that would proudly assert welcoming my kind's patronage. Not necessarily that the other company wouldn't likely be just as glad pocketing some coin, gay or no, it's just that the extra measure saying so seems like an indeed cordial thing to do.
John brought up the point, though, by asking how appropriate would it be showing off about being Muslim-friendly, for example, or black-friendly, Jew-friendly, Latino-friendly, et al.? Any discriminated-against group of folks should be delighted at being singled out and courted by such accepting establishments, no?
Put that way, I see his point; it doesn't seem quite right somehow. It really shouldn't, I suppose, affect where I buy my stuff, whether or not a company auspiciously touts its gay-friendliness. Despite maybe having the noblest of intentions, it might be considered rather condescending, actually, when you think about it. I'd expect they should probably be friendly to all of their patrons regardless.
John wrote that "people use [gay-friendly] all the time to defend people who aren't bigots. Why do we need to recognize people who treat the LGBT community as equal, like that's something special?" True, and I agree it ought not be that way, viewed as something special. But I have to admit that for some reason, I'm still partial to spending my money at the gay-friendly whereabouts.
I have way too much time on my hands to have overthunk this for the past couple of days, I know. I just hadn't ever looked at it from any objective perspective before, and I found it thought-provoking. Plus I did some Googling about various x-friendly places, and despite some of it seeming pretty incredible to me, it's not that unusual after all for drumming up business.
I don't know. I suppose so long as there is unfairness and inequality toward any particular demographic, just being publicly acknowledged and accepted supersedes what could be tagged condescension. John rightly questions why we need to recognize people who treat the LGBT community as equal, like that's something special. Maybe the answer is in the question itself, because until things change, we still do need to.
I've never given this any thought at all. Broad-minded and liberal as I am, it wouldn't ocur to me to single out various discriminated-against groups this way if I owned a business. But I guess that's due to my basic philosophy that people are people. I see validity in what both you and your friend think about this.
ReplyDeleteI think you are correct. Until people truly are treated equally, they must be treated "specially" (or as I prefer to say...supportively) to avoid being treated poorly. And just because a business is x-friendly, doesn't mean members of x-group are getting special treatment as customers, just that they are especially welcome there. I think unless members of said group are getting discounts that others don't, then there really is no "special treatment" going on.
ReplyDeleteAs a business model, though, I'm not sure it helps the bottom line to support specific groups...although the bottom line is surely not the ONLY reason to show support of a minority or other group. While the business gains some customers, they will lose others. I know that if a business openly supports a group, I can't help but let that influence my decision to give them my business...or not. However, if the business remains publicly neutral on those things, then they don't cross my mind, either.
Good post! Interesting too. It is a shame we have to say that this business or that business does the right thing and treats folks equally. Does the term "gay friendly" also mean that some proceeds from sells may go to benefit LGBT causes?
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with John, and what I said to him when he commented on my FB about this today, "I wish things were different that I could feel almost offended by the phrase... I just can't" so... yeah. Made me start second-guessing some of the gay bars I used to go to that advertised being "straight-friendly", too.
ReplyDeleteI could only click the "Like" button on this comment once. Consider it clicked more. :)
ReplyDeleteThat would be something that wouldn't be a bad idea, benefiting LGBT (or whatever group's) causes. Unfortunately John is right that 'x-friendly' could read special, though, rather than equal, which I know is right, I just can't help myself appreciating a welcoming nod.
ReplyDeleteI prefer to support business that recognize diversity. It's one reason I LOVE Apple and P&G products; they seem to acknowledge as well as give their employees same rights as "normal" couples. I like supporting companies like that because it keeps them going. Perhaps one day there won't be a need to point things like "gay-friendly" out, but right now IMO it's good to have some recognition fvor the strides being made.
ReplyDeleteI'm all for it.
Thanks, Stacee, I agree.. Ain't right, maybe, but for now I can't help myself feeling the same.
ReplyDelete