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You're A Nation Station

Long before Betsy Ross scissor-snipped her first star or stitched her first stripe, young America had experimented with various and sundry banners to magnificently represent its new-found independence! Some of the contestants should have, without question, been voted off early in the competition.

The well-known Navy Jack was no doubt an early elimination. DONT TREAD ON ME. An unfortunate punctuation faux pas. If they had only had spell-check back in the day, the guy may have had a chance to make it into the finals. Damned apostrophes!

Betsy was voted through, wisely avoiding text, to beat the competition. Stars and stripes forever! So after the drumroll, confetti, hugs, tears, and no doubt much flag-waving, we had our winner.

Who knew that 230-plus years later her winning design would still be flying high (albeit a bit starrier)?

A long-standing, award-winning design like that certainly warrants respect, of course, and ought not be taken lightly. It is a symbol, after all, of our freedom, our independence, our country ... America the Beautiful. Land of the free, home of the brave.

People do like the star/stripe theme, and the colors are pretty (adding that splash of blue was genius!) Still today, thanks to Betsy's winning color scheme, anything red, white and blue is at once associated with our most united of states.

Ms. Ross’s ardent fans, though, sometimes take things a bit too far!

In an Oregon dog park, a fire hydrant painted à la Old Glory fashion, was installed as a memorial to a police dog named Hondo, killed in the chase of a suspect a decade ago.

Hondo, it seems, got caught up in the crossfire whilst on duty. What better way to memorialize a canine hero than with his own fire hydrant? Boy dogs and fire hydrants kind of go together, after all.

And the late Hondo, certainly an integral member of the force, of course deserves an appropriate memorial as do his fallen bipedal partners. Police dogs, too, protect and serve.

The memorial was removed last year, however, when critics bitched that other dogs might disrespectfully take a piss on the red, white and blue!

As reported by Itchmo, “‘While hydrants are playfully associated with dogs as a "target," this hydrant was specifically designed and painted to serve as a very personal tribute to a service animal killed in the line of duty,' said Hillsboro parks spokeswoman Corinne Bloomfield.”

See? It was meant to be a good thing. No national disrespect intended. But, when some local folks saw pictures of the American flag hydrant in the dog park, they were "horrified" at the thought of a dog urinating on it.

According to the article, one resident wrote, "That gallant dog must be turning in his grave at the thought of the flag being desecrated every time a dog pees on that hydrant!"

Dear One Resident, given the fact that dogs are pretty much color blind, I would question whether or not Hondo really gets that whole sacred red, white and blue thing. Most likely couldn't care less.

In fact, who knows … maybe pissing on one's memorial, in the world of man's best friend, is a sign of paying due respect? Either way, I seriously doubt if Hondo is “turning in his grave.”

Common sense won out stupidity, however, and the memorial hydrant has since been returned, which is only appropriate considering that it resides in a dog park named in Hondo’s honor. They have, however, installed a fence to keep the pissers away. Just in case.

What they’re going to do to thwart a rogue, treasonous bird from taking a fly-by crap on the stars and stripes, well, I guess is still up in the air, so to speak.

Comments

  1. Doug, this was absolutely hilarious and I enjoyed reading it. Isn't it funny the things people get bent out of shape about?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hope a baby doesn't crawl on their flag before it is put up, then they would have to kill the baby,

    ReplyDelete
  3. Doug R,
    That was very entertaining...LOL!
    Check your e-mail I just sent you something.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Doug - Sometimes "patriotism" just turns plain weird. And yes, Diane, I hope they've taken appropriate child-proofing measures! Rain - I think I'm all caught up now on email, I got a day or two behind, sorry!

    ReplyDelete
  5. wherefore art thou dougie boy?

    ReplyDelete
  6. little navigator , I was wondering the same thing. Doug R. your girls are looking for you. We hope everything is okay. Send an e-mail a ransom note..Something.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sorry! I do, though, love when the ladies miss me. Consider ransom note sent.

    ReplyDelete

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