Righting God

Ummm... I'm actually having trouble even finding the words for what to say about this. Which should make the group over at Conservapedia very pleased, seeing that they "prefer conciseness over liberal wordiness" anyways. So to be concise: this batch of loons is beyond question all-out bonkers.

Conservapedia, The Trustworthy Encyclopedia (think Wikipedia with a right-wing nutjob twist) is calling now for all illiberal wiki correspondents out there to join up for the Conservative Bible Project, helping to give God's Word an extreme make-over with a bent more to the right.

Seems that the lads who put together the project decided that the Bible, as it is, reads just too liberal, that there is no "fully conservative translation" of it. So to remedy that offense, they contrived this project, setting down their own ten commandments of how to make sure that in the end God doesn't come off all progressive:

"Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias

"Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, 'gender inclusive' language, and other feminist distortions; preserve many references to the unborn child (the NIV deletes these)

"Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level

"Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms to capture better the original intent; defective translations use the word 'comrade' three times as often as 'volunteer; similarly, updating words that have a change in meaning, such as 'word', 'peace', and 'miracle'

"Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as 'gamble' rather than 'cast lots'; using modern political terms, such as 'register' rather than 'enroll' for the census

"Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil

"Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

"Exclude Later-Inserted Inauthentic Passages: excluding the interpolated passages that liberals commonly put their own spin on, such as the adulteress story

"Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels

"Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word 'Lord' rather than 'Jehovah' or 'Yahweh' or 'Lord God'"

I just have to point out, for not caring so much for wordiness... what the hell is all that mess? In any event, it will be fascinating to see how things turn out with a manlier, less wobbly protagonist Lord. I think I'll start with checking out what magic hath been wrought on Haggai, it's already been finished.