Furibundum

Okay - nobody gives a crap about anyone else's local news, I realize that. I know that I don't anyway. Still, I can't help myself from sharing this gem of an example of one of my neighbor's less-than-stellar level of smarts as this happened today literally just down the road from where I live. Think whatever you will about me, but I do find this report amusing and it does make me laugh. Stupid people are funny. Kansas City, Mo. - Fireworks are being blamed for starting a fire that damaged a home in Brookside. The woman who lives in the home told investigators that her children were setting off fireworks in the attic. When she first smelled smoke, the woman thought a neighbor was smoking meat. This would be why I don't go out of my way to meet the neighbors.

Pisses me off, this. Even as an ardent Obamaniac I have to ask, "Seriously, Barry ... are you shitting me, dude?" Well, that's just fantastic, isn't it? Typical pussified Democratic caving in as we've unfortunately all been subject to and victims of despite our (ahem) Congressional control of the past couple of years. What the hell, man? Barack Obama's announcement earlier this week supporting the latest and greatest FISA amendment, including granting immunity to the partners in crime telcos ... yeah, pretty disappointing. Fourth Amendment still be damned. Bush's illegal-and-unconstitutional-but-who-gives-a-fuck-I'm-the-president interpretation received yet another resounding Senatorial huzzah. Ah, but it was a compromise, after all. Only a small part of the bill, that telecom amnesty thingy. Whatever. This still remains the gist of the whole package, though: You must give up your privacy and constitutional rights to us if you want us to keep you safe ...

Dr. John Corvino, the self-titled "gay moralist" ... I've had rather a major crush on this guy for quite some time now, since happening across his columns over at 365 Gay 's Opinion section . Meet my most recent pretend boyfriend. Writer, speaker, philosophy professor and cute as hell. Although, as per the seeming trend of most columnists, I'd wager that this cutie patootie's byline pic has most likely for many years gone unupdated. I did the mental ballpark arithmetic after some online stalking research, and considering that he received his PhD in 1998 I'm guessing that he might actually look just a wee bit older now. That and with notice that he's been delivering his " What's Morally Wrong With Homosexuality? " lecture for more than fifteen years ... I'm just saying he's probably not the spring chicken of this picture. (Unless, of course, he may have developed some magical homosexual superpower of achieving eternal youth. Which...

First an update. Damn the weekend traffic! Not on the roads, mind you (way too cost-prohibitive) but rather the folks who are apparently choosing to spend their days-off free time online instead. Something I failed to factor into my calculations. So I missed scoring 21-millionth Daft Hands video nerd by 16,000 and some change. Disappointing, I know. Some people really should get a life. C'est la vie, I suppose, but there's always that twenty-two mil milestone. I'll just need to ramp up and be more cognizant of timing next go 'round, fingers-crossed topping that Loser leaderboard over my fellow no-life compatriots. "Never let the bastards wear you down," as they say. Goals are good things. Quotes are cool, too. So anyway, that kind of sucked. Housekeeping out of the way, now to my point. Truth be told, I honestly don't have much of one today. Just this, really: Cindy McCain totally creeps me out! Admittedly I don't know why, but she does. Even moreso ...

Welcome to my sick world. I'm obsessed with achieving twenty-one millionth viewer status of this quirky and for whatever reason incredibly popular (albeit also incredibly inane) YouTube sensation. Pathetic, I know, but I confess to watching this video multiple times daily. I really do. All right, so I have no pride nor reasonable explanation. Whatever. I do, however, have high aspirations: twenty-one millionth would be totally awesome! 20,901,020 and counting ...

Just in case you were wondering, I thought you should know that Tim Russert is indeed now in hell where he belongs. Soon to be joined, make no mistake, by his slobbering jackass colleagues. So prophesieth our good friend and brother in Christ, Fred Phelps . On the other hand ... Holy fuck! I feel obligated to apologize on behalf of all most of us here in the Greater Kansas City metro region. We're really not, for the most part, maniacal inbred kooks, although I obviously cannot deny that there are indeed some amongst us. Case in point here. [ UPDATE : So Phelps and clan apparently decided to yank the video I had originally posted here of Fred Phelps dutifully explaining just exactly why Tim Russert is now in hell, as will soon be his similarly doomed associate journalists. All righty then. This one's still gettable, though, so I'm swapping it out. The essence of stupidity remains the same, just from another of the Phelps family nutjobs. ]

Everything about this weekend has annoyed the crap out of me for some reason. Except for the Father's Day thing, of course. Hey, Dad! To my main gripe. I was just as shocked as anyone to hear of Tim Russert's sudden keeling over this past Friday. On the tube every day and every night, he was. The guy apparently never slept. And of course, always up and on air for my Sunday morning Meet the Press fix. A veritable Energizer bunny, sans the pink fur and drum. Sad his untimely passing, to be sure. Still, what the hell is it with MSNBC even now, late this Sunday night and presumably ad infinitum, broadcasting 24/7 Remembering Tim Russert commentary and the non-stop Russert repeat segments? Good Lord, let the man rest in peace already ... for a change. He certainly deserves the time off. Why this annoys me so much, I don't really know. I am trying to quit smoking, that might have something to do with it. For whatever the reason, though, I do find it extremely irritating. Enough...

Obama still ba-rocks and McCain still, um ... is a dick. Okay. That's the extent of my political rumination today. Although I may be totally off on both counts, I wouldn't know. I honestly paid zero attention to realpolitik today so I have no clue what might have happened really. I have other more personal and most disconcerting things on my mind. I'm kind of creeped out. I have a stalker ... don't laugh. I really do. I think his name is Mike but I'm not even sure about that. He was probably lying when I asked, whatever the hell it was he said, but that's what I think I remember. I was drunk at the time. Admittedly my fault. I'm an idiot sometimes, no new tale to tell there. I don't recall exactly how I met the guy in the first place - it was a couple of years ago - but I do know that I willingly gave up my address. With directions, no less. Just in case. Damn the hooch. What was I thinking? Anyway, so here's the deal. I had him over a time or two ea...

Most excellent speech this morning, and many well-deserved kudos to Ms. Hillary. Well done and well said, beginning to end. I thought she was fantastic. "So today I am standing with Senator Obama to say, ' Yes, we can! '" Better late than never, I suppose, and thank God that's over. Time now to put the infighting behind and come together for the betterment of the country and of us all. Of course, there are those few ex-Clinton-supporters-turned-sniveling-jackass-retards avowedly pledged to vote McCain now that the Hillary camp has conclusively and officially succumbed. Such party expatriates should simply fucking stay the hell home come November, boneheads all in my opinion. Lesson learned - we Democrats are not insusceptible to the lunatic fringe, contrary to my thinking all this time that the Republicans held a monopoly on bonkers. Naïveté on my part. Whatever. For the rest of us, though, onward and upward!

So I took a week off, that was weird. Self-imposed exile from all things Internet. Rather like rehab it was to give it up, and me not quite sure that I was up for the challenge. The first day or two I admittedly did sneak an email peek here and there, cold turkey didn't really work out so well but I eventually bucked up. I'm no addict, I can quit anytime. I'm awesome. Maybe some day I'll attempt forgoing smokes and booze for a week to further bear out my awesomeness. Some day. For now though allow me to fire up a fag (I wish), crack open a cold one and bluster about why Hillary pissed me off last night. I truly thought her speech began well enough, totally expecting a leading up to gracious concession to Barack's pledged delegates victory. " I want to start tonight by congratulating Senator Obama and his supporters on the extraordinary race that they have run. "Senator Obama has inspired so many Americans to care about politics and empowered so many more ...