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Guns, Gas And Goddamn Idiots


About an hour (at most) due south of here lies the tiny town of Butler, Missouri. Hardly noteable, just another of those tiny specks on the map that you'd miss if you blink while driving through.

I'd reckon that even the nice omnipresent OnStar lady might have a hard time finding you there. Or would have anyway, past tense.

Car vender Mark Muller seems to have now almost single-handedly cured the town's attention-deprivation in one fell swoop!

He said this past week that sales have soared (quadrupled, even) at his Max Motors dealership ... since advertising a promotion promising drivers a free handgun or a $250 gas card with every vehicle purchased!

Thirty vehicles sold in three days, he says. I would imagine that to be at par for a mega-dealership here in the big city maybe, but pretty impressive for a podunk shanty-town car lot to be sure.

Butler on da map, y'all!

Even the blokes and lasses across the pond have taken note. Sharing great American innovative marketing schema beyond our borders, it's a good thing.

Every buyer so far "except one guy from Canada and one old guy" (pussies) has elected to take the gun, according to Muller.

Muller's customer recommendation? A Kel-Tec .380 pistol. "It's a nice little handgun that fits in your pocket," he said. Good to know.

"We did it because of Barack Obama. He said all those people in the Midwest, you've got to have compassion for them because they're clinging to their guns and their Bibles. I found that quite offensive.

"We all go to church on Sunday and we all carry guns. We're not clinging to nothing
."
Not clinging to nothing ... doesn't a double negative negate a negation and therefore resolve to a positive? I think he just conceded Obama's point there, yes? We're not clinging to nothing, no siree! We're clinging to something, all right. The Bible. Our guns.

Unless he simply misspoke, in which case someone ought to be dusting off and clinging instead to their fourth-grade English primer.

His next planned promotion? Giving away a King James Bible for any Muslim car-buyer who converts to Christianity.

My, how my Missourian pride doth swell.

So if future travels should lead you through Butler, remember not to blink lest you miss it completely. And be prepared to duck.

Comments

  1. I read about this. Amazing. So American. So pathetic.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Is it legal to do this? What about background checks on these people?

    ReplyDelete
  3. This damned gun culture makes me sick.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Doug R,
    I sent you another song,let me know if you like it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. they also have a Political website www.GunsAndGas.com you might want to check it out, it has all kinds of stuff on it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anon - It does indeed have all kinds of stuff on it, stuff I'll no doubt now be obsessed with checking out to winnow facts from spin, but it is fascinating ... stuff. Thanks for the link.

    ReplyDelete

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