It's disturbing thinking about the people I used to know who are dead now. Not the old ones really, but those who for one reason or the other pass on earlier than you'd have thunk it. A friend of mine recently committed suicide, the most recent of several no longer around whom I personally knew, got me musing again.Old people no matter the reason for their demise, it's easy to move on from somehow, even if something unforeseen or tragic might have left them gone sooner than later. It just seems more appropriate that they should move along having already spent a goodly amount of time earthbound.
But not so much the others. It's kind of like you've been standing in line for all this time waiting for some grand showing that everyone has been raving about forever, when suddenly and unexpectedly these folks alongside you just have cut in line ahead and already in. No fair! You'd have supposed them to have waited it out with you but poof, just like that, they've shot ahead and bought their tickets early on.
Maybe it's a jealousy thing, them already inside and me still outside waiting. Would they be rating it thumbs up or thumbs down? Awesomeness or suckiness? Or does it turn out that after so much waiting there was really in the end nothing going on at all? Still a mystery to me what I'm waiting for, and that bugs me.
Those I know gone before remind me of my impatience. Not that I'm in any hurry to get to the front of the line, mind you, but impatient for the never-forthcoming reviews and why I'm actually marking time.
I know I'm bound to find out for myself eventually, it would just be nice to have a heads-up at some point for what to prepare from someone who's been there, done that.
Frankly, I suppose it just kind of annoys me those that were close by me already let in early knowing something I don't. I get this nagging feeling sometimes, though, it seems they might be keen to letting me in on anything, but just can't quite get through.
I don't think about death much. A part of life, a part of the unspoken deal. Not impatient. Not curious what awaits ater. I'm having a good time right now. Am happy. That's it.
ReplyDeleteMy personal philosophy is that the grand showing is now. But this was a clever, fun post. It's great having you back.
ReplyDeleteDiane - I generally don't think about death much either, only when someone I know offs themselves or is murdered or that sort of thing. Then I do, they are just gone so unexpectedly and I want to know where to.
ReplyDeleteDoug - Thanks, it's good to be back, more than you know. But anyway, I think there is certainly a grand showing now, and like Diane, I'm having a good time. But I do think there's a part 2 and it makes me kind of antsy.
You have such a way with words D-Ro. Suicides are such a shock to the system. It's something so unexpected and hard for the family and friends to fully recover from and understand. In the case of my brother in-law, it left me wondering what if I had of said this or done that.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your friend Doug. Suicide is a hard one on those left in shock.
ReplyDeleteI am reading a book right now (who me) about after life/souls etc, you know, my normal reading? And there was a great "example" of what one soul says to the others in line waiting to have the Honor to be here..."Very believeable." :-) You know, how it's all an illusion, we create our own reality, life is a game or a stage...how there is no death, etc? I loved that visual...Happy been there, done that soul, with a T-shirt that says, "I've been in a body and all I got was this t-shirt" saying, "Very believeable." :-)
Thanks for sharing. One thing I have discovered since Dan's sudden death, mostly because this is still raw I am sure, is that now I am more afraid to live than to die. My security net has fallen.
ReplyDeleteCris - Not to trivialize Dan's death or how you feel, but security nets break and somehow get mended again. Just takes awhile, though. Be patient, it'll happen. :-)
ReplyDelete